Officially, Officially Legal

Once Upon A Time, There Was A Cheerleader

And then there were frat guys. It's like the circle of life, but it's in college. And it's one of those 'Circle of Life' things where 'life' actually means a hot cheerleader with her skirt around her shoulders.  And the circle is the Beta guys moving in for the kill. 

No confirmation the skirt ever returned to her waist that night.

Uncle Phil From Fresh Prince Was A Badass

Surely we all remember this, but when E:O took to the internet recently to add to our Fresh Prince collection (legally, of course), I just couldn't believe how awesome this dude actually was. Here's three of my favourite, random examples of Phil's awesome-ness:

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Hillary: (at her costume party) Daddy, you need a costume.
Uncle Phil: (in casual clothes, unamused) I'm in my costume- I'm Comfortable Man.
Ashley: Is he a super-hero?
Uncle Phil: Sort of. He has super-human bill-paying powers, so he gets to dress however he wants.

Why I Started Drinking Wine Once I Graduated College

In college, drinking beer every day is completely accepted.

Once your done though, all of a sudden you're an "alcoholic." 

Now that I have wine with dinner every night, apparently I'm just classy. Whatever works, right?

When Sad Parts In Movies Have Intentionally Hilarious Lines Thrown In

I really, really like it. Like this:

Capitalism For The Win: This Is Thought Provoking

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, that it only took a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish. The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

 The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The American scoffed. “I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “Fifteen or twenty years.”

“But what then, señor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.” 

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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Source: http://gselevator.wordpress.com/

Man, Remember Charlie Sheen?

What a 2011 that guy had.

That's all, really. I just can't believe how quickly that blew up and then died down. I thought we'd still be talking about him. How's that new show of his anyway?

Just When You Think There's A Sexist Joke Coming...

... they throw out something hilarious. Well played, sir:

This Is How You Answer The Question 'Why Are You Late?'

Be right back, dying: